I've Had It Dammit!

Lucky 13 Not Smoking

2009-07-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well since I cracked I've now gone 13 days and the big number is 21.
After the first 21 days your body starts creating A new Habit. In this case, Life without nicotine...

I've been alright but on watching tv and someone smoking, it makes me want one.
Driving through the highlands where none of the buildings allow smoking, I saw smokers on the sidewalks and was like ARRRGGGHH but I really am completely fine!

I haven't punched anyone.
I haven't thrown anyone out the window. I think I'm doing good. (j/k)

I am holding up really well and taking my hemp capsules which help with the stress... I just need to find something to do on downtime, I can't just SIT THERE although which as much as I go go go all the time it would probably be good for me but "it simply isn't me".

Obama Signs the Tobacco Oversight Bill

2009-06-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

Obama signs the bill but has he quit?

IF Obama wants to quit it isn't hard, just do what I did and then don't fall off the wagon (yes I did that too ) But I got right back on and I'm not falling off again!

The Breaking Point ( Whats this a Cigarette?)

2009-06-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well the DT's (withdrawl) got to me Sunday.

All day all I could think was "I wanna Cig, I wanna Cig, I wanna Cig!"

I cracked.

I bought a pack of cigs and as soon as I lit up they tasted like SH*t!

BLAH!

Must admit it was pretty amazing how the ol tastebuds started working better after only 4 days!

I smoked 2 and then tore up the pack, breaking all the cigarettes into bits and throwing them away!

I made it four days, did lots of walking and I am not going to be defeated!

It's easy to quit, I just didn't count on the DT's kicking in so strong but now I am better prepared.

I admited my flop to friends and family and asked everyone to leave me messages in Facebook to not smoke. Some are leaving funny comments, others inspirational, and some are threatning to whoop me good if I fall off the wagon again LOL

I wasn't upset and had felt great over the not smoking.

I had a great weekend and compensated my urge (mostly out of bordem) to smoke and found that if I walk or write I can get over it.

What I should have done last night was tough it out and go to bed instead of running next door to the convienent store. (Dag Nab it Rabbit)

Not this time.

I would like to point out to everyone that you should take really good notes when you quit.

Write down when you want to smoke. What are you doing? What did you Just do? These are triggers that you must re-program/ re-learn.

And yes, ask friends to help you... being able to shout out to someone on the phone or in chat can help when you think you are going to cave to the crave!

No more,,, I have goals and places I want to go.

When I smoked those two cigs, it undid most of what I had already accomplished. The first 7 days are the ones that matter most so think of it in terms like that. Its only 1 week to get over the toughest part. After that its simply another week, and then another. Don't think in terms of years, just think every 7 days!

I'm off to enjoy life again! Oh, and Breathe, I feel better already!

Still going strong

2009-06-20T18:08:00.001-07:00

Its day 3 and I'm still going liket he energizer rabbit. I did realize something though, I smoked alot of bordem. So there have been moments where I am away from my home that I didn't realize I smoked. It's been a little frustrating in those moments but I found that pacing and walking make it tolerable. Something I will have to rethink and get used to.

However I don't want to smoke. I feel good. Really good!

I also have caugt myself a couple of times reaching for cigarettes going down the road in the car. Or feeling around the coffee table for a pack during a movie and then remembering on each time, "Duh silly you quit smoking" LOL

The Last Cigarette

2009-06-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

I just smoked the last cigarette I will ever smoke in my life. :)

I am so happy that I have hit my target a day early. I was scheduled to run out later today but got to my stop date early by smoking 1 or 2 cigarettes more here and there while I was weaning off.

If you want to quit WEAN off.

See the photo? Do this. America does not have the big black and white banner on the cigarette packs that simply tell you the truth. "Smoking Kills". I made my own on the last few packs that I had. (photo)

If you put this on your packs with a simple computer sticky label it is very intimidating to light a cigarette! It's easy to ignore the small Surgeon Generals Warning on the side. The bigger and bolder the message the harder it is for you to smoke.

I think America should follow the UK's idea and definately put it in boring bold black and white!

To drive the message home you should see what is on Canadian packs of cigarettes. My friend Alix sent me this (Canadian Cigarette pack images)

If that doesn't drive the point home I don't know what will!

I started a few weeks ago weaning my self off. I would go longer periods without cigarettes and I went out of my way NOT to smoke at normal triggers. After I got up, after eating, out of pure bordem, before bed ect.

This week Alix gave me some great ideas, she had me really focus on my smoking. Don't be distracted by TV or web while I smoke, just smoke and be aware of how much I want to quit and how much I love my self and others to quit with every drag! This was a great idea and really helped. She even came up with some "homework" which if you want to know about that you can contact my friend Alix on her blog... Wake Up To Welness

The point to everything is that you have to want to quit.

Like anything else this requires you to take the first step.

Immediate and Long Term Benefits of Quitting Smoking TODAY

2009-06-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

I just went 9 hours between cigarettes and have 3 left in the last pack I have ever purchased.

I have been researching on line some of the immediate benefits of what happens after you quit smoking which I will get to in just a moment.

I noticed today while I wasn't smoking that I felt better. MY heart was happier, so was my throat and yes even my cat was much more cuddly. He's never complained about my smoking but he too is noticing that I am doing this less. (Yes dears, second hand smoke affects our pets just like people so I will be sure to note whether his wheezing decreases which I have often wondered is a result of my smoking so I am watching him closely too.)

I didn't freak out. I didn't get upset. So much of the information that is available to stop smoking in my opinion, puts far too much negative focus on "how hard it is to stop the nicotine addiction". I on the other hand REFUSE to accept this.

I am of the mindset that WE have the power to put things into motion and WE choose to make them hard or not. As you can see here in this blog, I have chose to celebrate with laughter and jokes about my smoking habit and how EASY it is to stop smoking!

Drug or not Nicotine is an Outside factor in the human mind.

Drug or not Nicotine is an Outside factor in the human spirit.

Both mind and spirit as proven time and time again throughout human history can overcome any obstacle with the power of Choice. Choose to make this easy, and it will be. Choose to be happy and celebrate yourself and you will find that this is not a pain but a glorious moment of loving yourself and others enough to quit.

That said lets look at some cool things that happen when you quit smoking...

20 minutes after the last cigarette:

Blood pressure, Pulse Rate and Body Temperature of Hands and feet return to normal

Eight Hours after the last cigarette:

Carbon Monoxide drops to normal and the Oxygen level in blood Increases to normal

(this is why I felt so good for the last 9 hours)

Forty -Eight Hours after the last cigarette:

Nerve endings start regrowing, One's ability to taste and smell begin to improve

Seventy -Two Hours after the last cigarette:

Bronchial Tubes Relax making it easier to breathe, Lung Capacity Increases

Nine Months after the last cigarette:

Coughing, Sinuses, Tiredness, Shortness of breath decreases

Tiny hair like structures of the lungs called cilia (which help filter the lungs) begin to regrow

(these little "hairs" make it easier to process mucus and reduce infection)

The body begins to have more energy

Chance of Heart attack- Decreases

Three to Four YEARS after the last cigarette:

Cancer of the Larynx (throat area) and Bladder Decrease

Five YEARS after the last cigarette:

Cancer of the Esophagus (throat area) and Mouth Decreases

Ten Years after the last cigarette:

Cancer of Pancreas Decreases, 30-50% LESS LIKELY to develop Lung Cancer!

information from http://www.breathenh.org

Thank You Winston Salem, Marlboro Pall Mall and Joe Camel

2009-06-17T09:47:00.001-07:00

Dear Cigarettes...

I would like to thank your creators Winston Salem, Marlboro and Pall Mall (and the occasional Joe Camel when I desperate enough to suck up sand) for 20+ long years of smoking and helping me get through the roller coaster of life.

I must thank specifically TOM SELLECK!

Yes Magnum P.I. before he was Magnum, my mother fell in lust with the Hottie Model in a Harpars Bazaar Magazine ad that she cut out and hung on the fridge (for years) of Tom sitting in a green shirt, tight jeans, in the scenery of evergreens for Salem Cigarettes! ( I was 6 when that ad came out!) Gods, you were so Smoking Hot Tom!

No one knew you would be the Ferrari Fantasy of the early 80's hell we didn't know your name at the time! But because of you we all started smoking Salems. ( I know Tom you are a great guy and I want you to know I am not being untrue here. You truly were good looking and we loved the pic on the fridge.) However, there was some LOOKING COOL advertising going on there that really affected us.

The implication smoking could land one as fine as you! OMG

I would like to thank all the cigarettes who helped me LOOK COOL at all the parties I ever attended. I attended LOTS of parties! And no sexy outfit was complete without a cigarette, some small holes burned into them and a big gaudy scratchy Betty Davis laugh! How gorgeous, How stunning How Fashionable you made me with such a trendy little "must have" ever classic accessory!

I would like to thank you for helping me to learn to drive with one hand while the left parked next to the window and I could simply litter as I went pitching and the famous Flicking (which in truth I was never that good at because I had long nails) out the window.

For the time the butt came back in and exploded in the face of a friend in the back seat. For all those times the cherry fell of my cigarette right between my legs and burned my ass while I swerved all the road hopping around in my car at 45 mph! or more. Yes, thank you especially for all those!

For everytime I burnt my hair. Sometimes only a singe and others, hairspray+ your little Virginia Killing Sticks made for a great flaming laugh at parties while friends jumped on top of me to extinguish my head. Ahh, those were the days! How cool I was. How in style.

And then there are the lovely days when it was bitterly cold and my addiction meant standing in a little booth with all the other smokers at Corporate America. Freezing to death, trying to block the wind in a little fiberglass box of smoke. It held 20 but I know we got good at packing in 50 at time. Billows of money rolling out of the vents at the top as we all gleefully and happily sucked away our savings, our retirement and yes, our lives one drag at a time.

You have been so important to me, that you for the longest time kept me skinny. Choosing to buy cigarettes on more than one occasion over food when funds were low how could I live with out you? How could food be more important? Who needs to eat when you can smoke and delight in the feeling of bliss and contentment that you render?

My deepest gratitude.

For my choir teacher wanting to choke her #1 soprano her Barbra Streisand Songbird who after only one summer of smoking your brands, quickly turned into a cross between Patsy Cline and Stevie Nicks! How she reamed me! And kicked me out of choir, not allowing me to "lower my self" to the Alto section. She wouldn't have it. So disappointed, so hurt and placing a complete level of shame on me with just cause!

And over the years I could still sing, for a while. But in the end, Stevie Nicks won out maybe a little Janis Joplin too. All my rock star dreams shattered the "thunder" that "only happens when its raining". "Dreams" lost forever to 20 little soldiers of fortune. Your fortune.

When I started smoking cigs were 75 cents a pack/3 years= 14040

1.25/3=23400

1.75/3=32760

2.10/3=39499.20

2.50/3=46800

2.75/3=51480

3.25/3 (war against Joe Camel began) = 60840

3.80/2=47424

and now 4.00/1=2080

and the grand total is..........drum roll please..........

$ 318,323.20

CHA CHING!

Three HUNDRED Eighteen Thousand Three Hundred Twenty Three Dollars & Twenty Cents!

Holy Flipping *@%# !!!

And I know I didn't calculate those times when I was on a 2 pack per day kick which varied over the years!n Since you have been so generous to me, I'll just forget about adding those in! (although its close to another 70 grand over the years!)

Yes THANK YOU cigarettes and your makers for making my life so grand!

It's been so wonderful and I must admit, now don't take this the wrong way... I am not going to miss you.

You are like one of those boyfriends who you don't even keep the left over tee shirts and things he left at your place when you broke up. Nope, you and your paraphernalia are out of here! All the ashtrays ( I have some Joe Camel collector crap if any body is interested check EBay) the custom "dragon lady" cigarette case, the custom silver lighter case complete with blood stones and anything that "smells" like you is outta here!

I hope you live forever- I truly mean that.

Johni

(in the ancient days to tell someone you hoped they lived forever was an insult that they should have to live with the guilt for all eternity)

Stop Smoking Aunt NaNa

2009-06-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Cc,

I'm sharing this with the world and you. I'm blogging about it while it is happening and I know you are a few days late on getting the info but truly I needed a head start when it came to you. I didn't want to promise something I couldn't pull off.

I am quitting my Smoking my darling girl!

I have done some crazy things to make sure that I do. Check the blog. Look around next time you stop by and feel free to laugh and celebrate whatever it takes to quit!

I know my habit has pissed you off!

You are allergic to smoke, and yet you have been surrounded by IDIOT smokers all your life. No wonder you have allergies to it. Well, this IDIOT is quitting!

I'm not doing this for you I'm doing it for me!

However you are a major perk! I would like to say that YOU and only YOU in all the people reading this and holding me accountable has my permission to KICK MY A** if I ever light up again OR because I know you like choices, to make me eat a cigarette! IF I light up... haha

You are the only one I am awarding the power of corporal punishment for the sin of smoking!

Enjoy your power dear! My darling dear!

I'm weaning off. I'm down to 7 cigs. YOU know that is a record! :o

I will be free in a week.

I would like to invite you in advance to HUG ME without fear of allergies and to come over for dinner and a movie night where gee, Cc can breathe and relax. Shall we Underworld and Twilight again? LOL

I love you to the Moon and Down again, my favorite girl!

Aunt NaNa

50 things to do instead of smoking

2009-06-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

1. Clean

2. Play with fat cat, he needs the exercise

3. Dance- little Prince, Bee Gee's and Boogie Oogie

4. Make video tutorials

5. Exercise- hmm what happend to my heart shaped butt?

6. Sing- sour notes are inspiring and motivating (till the cat bites me)

7. Sing anyway!

8. Journal what my life is really like (without ciggies)

9. Journal my 100 days into a book (best seller)

10. Blog about it

11. Walk

12. Draw- I need to get back to this anyway

13. Go for a Harley Ride- Murph would like that

14. Play video games online (space invaders donkey kong frogger LOL)

15. Anwer Emails and Tweets

16. Go to the bookstore (church for me) and read there

17. Meditate

18. Roll my hair and play dress up

19. Play with my shoe's ( I love my shoes )

20. Spend ciggie money on shoes LOL

21. Watch a movie or 3

22. Take a nap - I deserve it

23. Eat a lovely Ceasar Salad- Yums

24. Go throught old poetry and cry- let it out girl

25. Make a list of new goals for a new life

26. Research San Fransisco Realtors

27. Connect with San Fransisco Realtors

28. Invite my Niece to dinner and a movie- she'd come over now!

29. Do my nails (again)

30. Paint my toenails (again)

31. Re Arrange the Living Room- Feng Shei?

32. Wash the windows

33. Wash my car

34. Vacuume the car

35. Re Organize my desk

36. Re Organize my bathroom

37. Re Organize my kitchen

38. Re Organize my closets

39. Take a break from organizing with a healthy smoothie

40. OK I must have 1 Krispy Kreme donut!

41. Laugh at myself in old photos

42. Laugh at friends in old photos

43. Take photos of nature in the park

44. Take photos of Statues in the Highlands

45. Take photos of hot joggers (did I say that out loud?)

46. Walk through Cave Hill and take pics

47. Practice my rituals/ spirituality

48. Make perfume

49. Make candles

50. LIVE

Johnny Quid Monolouge (Rockin Rolla Film- Guy Ritchie) Life in a Box

2009-06-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Johnny Quid's Monolouge from the Film Rock N Rolla by Guy Ritchie

"You see that packet of Virginia Killing sticks on the piano?

Everything you need to know about life is contained in those four walls.

You will see that one of your personalities is seduced by the Illusions of grandure the gold packet of King Size with the Regal Insignia an attractive Implication toward glamour and wealth the subtle suggestion that cigarettes are indeed, your Royal and Loyal friends.

And that Pete, is a lie.

You're other personality is trying to draw your attention to the Flip side of the discussion, written in Boring BOLD Black and White is the statement these Neat little Soldiers of Death are In Fact, Trying to KILL YOU.

And that Pete is the Truth.

Oh, Beauty is a Beguiling court of Death and I'm addicted to the sweet pitch of its Siren.

That, that which starts sweet ends bitter. That, that which starts bitter ends sweet.

(The images and dialouge of the Russian and Johnny's ganster father Lenny, which happen between Johnny's Monolouge are a profound representation of what Johnny is saying. The Russain is the Truth, his father Lenny is the lie. And Lenny, beaten by the truth must submit to the harsh reality of his illusion of grandure.)

I've Had it Dammit - One Woman Screams "ENOUGH!"

2009-06-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

At some point you realize there are things that you can change about yourself. For me I am in the midst of stopping the Smoking habit among other things I list below. Enough!

Since Ciggies are my biggest "pain" right now I'm going to scream about them for a moment!

For 23 years I have been killing myself and where I always knew this lately my body has been sending me danger signals that have finally gotten my attention!

My heart pounds in my chest like and 800 pound silver back gorilla beating on me.

My lungs weaze and sieze if I attempt two runs up the Victorian staircase to close together. Gods forbid I leave something in the car downstairs. It has to stay there for at least an hour.

My skin hates me for smoking. Not only would I look 10 years younger if I had never smoked. I also have acute Ecxema which responds violently to the nicotine from ciggies.

My pro$perity is literally being smoked. I may as well roll my own cigarettes in $20 dollar bills and smoke those!

My niece, this one breaks my heart, 21 and alergic to smoke cannot hug me like she would like to when we get together. I also usually have to meet her other places since I smoke in my home and she can't handle being here more than a couple of hours. Shame on me for her sake if not mine.

The list could go on. Forever.

I began smoking at age 15 taught to do so by 3 siblings who constantly smoked in my presence growing up and when I began I originally smoked Salem 100's those big green fiberglass full menthols that had me coughing up blood by a decade later. Still I merely switched brands to Marlboro Lights ("light" is a lie!) like a fool.

I should have stopped then but my addiction was too strong. I did try to quit but got so "BITCHY" a carton of cigarettes were Thrown AT me and I was told to smoke again because the other person couldn't handle being my victim anymore. Yes, it really was that bad!

Fast forward to now and I have smoke 23 flipping years!

Once I sang like Barbra Steisand and took great vain pride in out holding her 19 second notes!

Once I could out dance Janet and Michael Jackson!

My nickname was "Lightning Rod" because only Lightning could catch me when I ran!

All those things I allowed to go Up In Smoke.

I've had it dammit!

I'm quitting and anyone else who wants to join me go for it.

I'm going to share some of the things that I have done to wean and stop the habit.

I'm going to share some things I've found to be inspired by and I'm going to write my new life.

Who I really am, beyond the cigarettes and other bad habits that have held me back so long. It's not only smoking. There is more...

The weight, the anger, the bitterness of a life I refused to control and let others control. The life I chose to betray because of one reason, Lazy was more comfortable.

I'm tired of eating bon bons and fondeling the remote.

I'm tired of living someone else's version of me.

I've had it dammit! Enough!